SHARE YOUR STORY
Swimming in the Sad puddleNickolas (Trent) J.
My family is addicted to meth, my mom, sisters, dad, aunt, uncles, and my cousin...READ MORE
Meth destroyed my high school sweetheartLindsay G.
He protected his addiction covering up his lies. Days of constantly vomiting. Nodding off while driving...READ MORE
The road I thought I was lost inTrista P.
I used meth for two years until I found out I was pregnant with my oldest child. I still smoked pot everyday...READ MORE
Spreading the messageTyler C.
I've been an IV drug user for 12 years, with the last 4 years being sporadic periods of use due to incarceration...READ MORE
meth took away my dadKaela H.
My dad wasn't around much when I was little, he was always in prison and when he was out, he'd be gone for days...READ MORE
The Joint brosAnon
I remember in particular I had just smoked a bowl and was curled up on the floor crying because I had no idea who I was or where I was...READ MORE
The lady in whiteMorgan E.
The lady in white
Whispers your name
Knowing once you have her
You’ll never be the same
the devils drug is rightMonica C.
When I was high I'd see this little girl whenever I was up too long and it was scary because I kept thinking, that's me.READ MORE
Tied to a chairAshley W.
I started doing meth at the age of 14. I had friends who sold it so I could get it anytime I wanted.READ MORE
meth and being a momKristin D.
So I tried it, it was my everything. I went on to be a mother of two girls still using meth...READ MORE
meth dominats your soulMcKean F.
lost an alone but so comfortable with taking your own life... That's where I'm at with the demon of the dark side...READ MORE
My Little GirlTeressa B.
I wonder what I could have done different everyday...READ MORE
kicking meth the hard wayCraig R.
Ten years of hard meth use.. lost everything. my home my cars my kids never thought i could ever stop...READ MORE
Swimming in the Sad puddle
I started to do meth when i was 14 years old and i am now 15. My family is addicted to meth, my mom, sisters, dad, aunt, uncles, and my cousin. I was always told i was going to end up like the rest of my family and i never believed the people who were telling me that till i got addicted. I got so bad into my addiction i started to set cameras up in my front yard to see if my P.O or the cops were going to show up. I was always told to never steal from family when i was growing up but i started too because i just wanted to get a bag. I never really new my mom till she got out of prison when i was 13 and she got her shit together and stayed clean. I try to look up to her to see what i can do not to end up like her but instead i got high. Now i sit in a rehab facility in Caldwell ID at the age of 15 wondering if im gonna go back to swimming in the sad puddle.
Meth destroyed my high school sweetheart
I remember my high school sweetheart in the 1990's. He was special. Smart beyond his years. Handsome. Funny. Kind. Gentle. Considerate. We went separate ways but kept in touch for over twenty years. A few months ago we began dating. He moved in. He began leaving glass pipes in my car and my home. He'd go missing for hours usually overnight. He began beating me. Everyone else was to blame. He protected his addiction covering up his lies. Days of constantly vomiting. Nodding off while driving. Staying awake and cleaning. Searching for other meth users to get high and have sex with online. Not helping with his share of the bills. I stayed for 8 months trying to fix me in hopes of making him want to be clean. I finally had to tell him goodbye. I reached the end of his addiction. Told him for as long as he uses we can't be together. He stopped talking to me.
The road I thought I was lost in
I started using when I was 11. First pot then by 15 meth. I used meth for two years until I found out I was pregnant with my oldest child. I still smoked pot everyday. 4 years after that and 3 kids later, method was brought back around me and I started using again. Within months I kicked out my kids dad (which was a good choice) then I lost my job, lost my apartment, and not even a month after loosing my apartment I lost my kids. My parents stepped in and took them. I could have went home and cleaned up but after growing up in the drug world I didn't know any different. So I choose to use. I got a felony charge the day before Thanksgiving in 2009. I spent 10 days in jail. I manged to go home for a month and be with my kids then I choose to start using again. I was kicked out of my parents house and back on the streets I spent some nights on the streets and other nights on whoever said couch I could crash on. I tried to get help but I couldn't get any funding because I wasn't an IV user and I wasn't pregnant. I did start seeing a counselor. I contained to use until I got sentenced in June of 2010. I got clean, got my kids back and moved in to shelter. Well I choose to relapse. I had to hand my kids back over to my mom and move somewhere else. Two days later I got the call I had wanted for a long time and that was to go to rehab. I went to CDA up top of idaho honestly the best choice I made. I knew no one and no one knew me. I was able to work on myself. I have been sober for 6 years on July 17. In October of 2010 I got my kids back. I have enjoyed more then anything having my kids home. I have moved on had another child but her dad was not good for my kids or I. Since that I have found true love someone who loves me for me. She doesn't judge me for my past or my mistakes. My kids love her. As well as she loves them. I also gained another son. I just have to say from a person who was raised in a drug home and then choose that road for myself and has overcome it that there is al!
You can do it I promise.
Spreading the message
I've been an IV drug user for 12 years, with the last 4 years being sporadic periods of use due to incarceration. I couldn't come to grips with the fact that I had to let my old friends go. when you hear that, believe it. From my experience remaining drug free is not just staying sober, it's a lifestyle change. I never meant to get to the point that I did. I come from a great supportive family with an LDS background. My parents arent addicts. What I'm trying to say is dope doesn't discriminate. It could happen to anyone. It doesn't matter where you come from. My most recent relapse was in 2014. I did a 90 day inpatient treatment program and by the grace of God, I was released to drug court and finally learned how to live life sober. Once an addict, always an addict. The difference between me sober and me on meth is night and day. I'm a very angry person when I'm in active use. I lie and manipulate to get what I want. I used to steal from stores to feed my addiction. I wasn't capable of holding a job for any period of time... although I have a beautiful girlfriend and baby boy, they didn't matter to be. If it didn't involve me getting high, everything else got put on the back burner. My son got gift cards for clothing for christmas, along with my girlfriend. He's a little over 1 year old today. I took those gift cards and sold them for dope and then lied about it. We don't have alot of money and the cards were really important but I didn't think twice about it. I just wanted to give an example of one of the many shameful things I did to get a fix. Right now I'm on the call in UA program, and I'm in transitional housing. I asked to be put on the call in program. I've spent so much of my adult life using, I haven't done anything with my life. I have no college education and really no viable job skills. At this point in my life, I'm trying to fix all the damage and pick up the pieces. Even the people who love me have absolutely no trust in me. I've been using for so long, it's hard for my family to believe anything I say. I kept going back to the drugs. Today I'm making the choice to stay sober. I'm done hurting the people who care about me. I'm moving forward one day at a time. I hope this message helps somebody.. thanks for reading.
meth took away my dad
You never know how awful Meth really is until you know and care about someone who does it. The videos you see, the commercials, it isn't the same until you watch your own Fathers life ruined by it. My dad wasn't around much when I was little, he was always in prison and when he was out, he'd be gone for days and come back looking like he got beat up. I never understood why until I knew what he was doing. Bruised arms and a broken out face, weighing less than he did the last time I saw him. Meth took away my dad. You never see the pain in causes in the videos. To the persons family. My dad was my hero until I found out what he does. I'm 15 and to this day, I can't look at my dad the same. He always says he's gonna change but he hasn't. Rehab, prison, his ex wife dying, losing his kid, and he can't change for me. I'm the one and only real thing he's got. Everyone else has left him, and he can't look at his baby and see the hurt in her eyes and change. My dad lives a life of fear, guilt, shame, regret and sorrow. Something I would never wish on anyone. Of all things I could wish for, I'd wish for him to change.
The Joint bros
My brother and I are close. We hang out almost every day. When I get off work and on the weekends we go to his Dad's house to watch South Park and smoke cigarettes. I remember when I first got my job, I had little to no bills to pay besides for my phone, so with all the extra money I decided what the hell, I'm going to buy some pot. A little turned into a lot very quickly and my brother and I were smoking an ounce a week minimum. I eventually got laced, it was bound to happen at one point or another and the sad thing was, I though it would be okay to lace my stoner brother too. We progressed into our new found drug world starting with narcotics and psychadelics then eventually it grew to meth. My brother wasn't even mad I laced him, we were both depressed and had given up on life. I remember in particular I had just smoked a bowl and was curled up on the floor crying because I had no idea who I was or where I was. My brother held me and told me it was going to be okay. One day the inevitable happened and my mom found my pipe. Without warning I was sent to rehab and eight months later I'm still going. I've been clean for a couple months but I know it's not going to last because my brother and I are planning on moving in together and while I got busted, he did not; and right now he's on a fast track to hell...
The lady in white
Morgan E.The Lady in White
By: Morgan E.
The lady in white
Whispers your name
Knowing once you have her
You’ll never be the same
She welcomes you
And makes you feel whole
But underneath the delight
She’s stealing your soul
She absorbs your mind
And keeps you up at night
You feel depressed and alone
Without the lady in white
On the days that she’s gone
All you feel is pain
You begin slipping away
Your body and mind becomes insane
But when she’s around
Everything’s at best
You believe you’re invincible
And carry on without rest
Soon you can’t live without her
Even though she’s always lying to you
You lose all your morals
And she’s got you lying too
You can’t escape
You’re chained to her side
Now you’re addicted
To the lady in white
the devils drug is right
My first time was not my choice. When I was high I'd see this little girl whenever I was up too long and it was scary because I kept thinking, that's me. I literally had been knocked out and woke to a needle coming out of my arm. My mother owed money to this disgusting mafia junkie and that's where it ended, in her hands. My mom got snitched on and thrown in jail. She took it to herself to involve me because I never once wanted to do it watching tweekers for two and a half years. I was mind f#%^ed by them raping me with toys on camera to sell them. It was bad experience and I never said a word about what happened for six months then they found videos on there STOLEN camera chip and asked me wtf. I was scared bc they had me at gun point mouthing at me to like it. I tried to not cry and finally I was so scared I starting acting like I did. I never quit trying drugs and using after that until eight months ago. Now I'm pregnant with a fiance who is in jail and we lost literally everything but not because of meth and honestly I think its all karma for how I use to be because I did relapse recently and am so pissed. I'm better then that so I'm choosing to do what I can to prove to myself I am done with that devil. I hate him. I've never came to tell the world my story but at 18, I'm finally comfortable telling you. Support is the best and God is real.
Tied to a chair
I started doing meth at the age of 14. I had friends who sold it so I could get it anytime I wanted. When I started meth I was a straight A student and had never done anything to hurt anyone in my entire life. It took only one month before my grades dropped, six months before I dropped out of school, eight months before i moved out of my house and began living on the street. During this time I was fighting drinking, lost my virginity, and had even stayed up for so long I attacked my mother because I thought she the darkness trying to kill me. I spent a whole week in a car staring at one spot not sleeping eating or moving it wasn't until my mother found me and had to carry me home that I realized what was going on. One night I was so high I had been up for nearly two weeks and I went from room to room attacking my entire family in their sleep, the only way they could stop me was tying me to a chair for two days until I could crash out and get some sleep. Eventually my mother moved us to get me away from my friends, and I searched it out in our new home. I found it, One night I was so high and so depressed with such a bad headache that I took pill after pill after pill wanting the headache to go away. It was enough to kill me. Waking up in the hospital the next morning and seeing my family in tears I knew I had gone too far and it was time for a change. It has been nearly four years since ive touched the stuff but it is a never-ending battle for me. I have to remind myself everyday why I have to watch who I talk to where I go who i hang out with because i never want to be that person ever again. And I think to myself if I never tried it not even once I wouldnt have to have this constant reminder of the life I once had. Its really not worth it not even once.
meth and being a mom
I started using Meth when I was 16 after my grandmother died someone told me it would make me not feel the pain of missing her. So I tried it, it was my everything. I went on to be a mother of two girls still using meth. I gave up vacations, marriage, and finally almost my life for meth. At 36, I finally got to go out of the state for a vacation and I had to have the meth with me. We went to Nevada to gamble. I gambled and almost lost my leg. I have been clean for 5 and 1/2 years. Finally after giving up nearly everything I found soberiety and a life that is truly blessed. I have a 21 year old and a 15 year old who both know where I have been and what it has done. They both have said NO and that is the best part of my story.
meth dominats your soul
lost an alone but so comfortable with taking your own life... That's where I'm at with the demon of the dark side... An this might scare u it should, because my experiences on meth make me me.. My story isn't special so don't think I'm glorifying my addiction because I'm not, but i also want you to form your own opinion about this horrifying drug I've never been so scared an at peace at the same-time. Our brains fire off chemicals an meth is a what??? exactly... I want to get involved an save lives an i have the energy an passion to do so... who ever this finds if u want a great looking face to spread the message an a person with more qualifications than one should on any given subject in life I'm a master meth addict see it rears its head at strange times an it just did... I'm clean an want to help.. I'm reaching out let me help our Idaho youth.
My Little Girl
Ten years of hard meth use.. lost everything. my home my cars my kids never thought i could ever stop. the final year found me shooting it instead of smoking it. i was down to 180 pounds from 230 pounds my teeth gone.. unable to get a job i was forced to steal for a living to pay for my wife and I. We had a two hundred dollar a day habit. dirty rigs all over the house ..a house that we were seriously behind on the mortgage and taxes.. our water and power turned off at times no tv no phone are cars were junk.. my wife held down a job barely.. i was unemployable because i couldn't pass a drug test nor was i able to function without at least a gram of meth a day. life was dark and thoughts of suicide crossed my mind daily. my wife and i fought terribly mostly about money and dope. then one day she got caught with dope and sent to jail.. i bailed her out and we got high like nothing happened.. 4 days later she had her bail revoked and was jailed.. she sat in county jail for three months. then spent nearly a year in an idaho prison. the day her bail was revoked i went home and cried my eyes out. that evening a drug addict friend showed up and handed me a pipe, i waved it away, after sleeping for a week i made up my mind that i had to quit. i looked around my house and was so disgusted at how we had been living. i had been clean for a week and felt like dying. how was i going to stop using? i visited my wife in jail and drew strength from her. i stayed clean for her if she couldn't get high i wouldn't get high. it worked and i took it day to day. i was so depressed i had to go see a doctor and get some pills.. a couple from the local church helped me through the extremely difficult task of cleaning the house and selling it i avoided foreclosure barely. eventually some time went by a month two months, i began to gain some weight back and started looking normal. i found a job at a horse stable. i moved to clean little trailer and got a decent car. I attended NA meetings and THIS REALLY HELPED time went by and the cravings still drove me crazy but i stayed strong. I wrote to my baby every day while she was in prison and assured her I was clean. I began to write poetry online..it just poured out of me. I wrote nearly a hundred poems in less than a year.. you can read them at Algonquins Table.com I post under 899ccs. Time marched by slowly..I was lonely and exhausted but clean. Finally my wife was released and she found a good job. I stayed at the stables for 9 months then found a better job as I was looking healthy and normal. We have a nice duplex now and two decent cars and have a few thousand dollars saved.. I cant believe it. We never fight and are fairly happy. It has been exactly one year and nine months clean for us both. We still crave it but we know we cannot ever get high again. We are doing it day to day .. it can be done.. just make up your mind and distance your selves from the people who do it ... take it day to day and go to NA
kicking meth the hard way
I wonder what I could have done different everyday. I wonder if my mothers mental illness or my fathers acholism had any thing to do with it. See my angel from heaven was perfect. She was a delightful child, could not have asked for any better. Something stole my little girl and its name is Meth. I call it the Death maker. It put my little girl in a world of destruction, hate, and distrust. I followed her and fought for her. I could not save my little girl, she would not let me and I wonder what could I have done different. I was there, did not judge, tried to get her clean. When its all said and done she is sitting in a prision for 14 years, the best years of her young life. Two girls who look at me and ask why grandma, and I wonder, could I have done anything different. I live with guilt and heart ache cause mom can not make this better. Mom can not save her little girl. Mom my job to protect. Lost . I cry everyday for my child, her children cry everyday for their mom. Meth. Could I have done anyting different. Please do not try meth, not even once, it will ruin your life, the lives of everyone you love. You will either die or end up in prision wasting the best years of your life, and you will bring all that love you to jail also. Please do not try meth. Do not break your moms heart. Have a Life! it can be beautiful.